I’ve been thinking about this post for a really long time, but I didn’t know how to start or what to say. I did a bit of a spring cleaning a few months ago with a new logo and theme, and now I want to give you an update because this blog will turn 8 next week and I realized that I don’t want to abandon it.
A short life update
The last time I wrote, I was in a very bad place mentally. I was going through a burnout, and after some changes in my personal life, I felt that I couldn’t continue that way.
At the time I was thinking about getting a “normal” job and I found the perfect one thanks to a friend. I’m now working as a database programmer, and while this is very different to what I’m used to, it’s something that gives me a sense of stability that I lacked before.
I always had issues with anxiety and depression and working for myself seemed a good idea at first. Unfortunately, it made things worse because I was under constant pressure and I couldn’t take a break. The fact that I’m a perfectionist and a bit of a workaholic also doesn’t help.
After so many years of working for myself, I lost the passion I had for design. Drawing and making art didn’t make me happy anymore. I couldn’t put pen to paper without thinking about a new collection or ways to market it. Not to mention how tired I was of social media and the constant noise surrounding it.
So I moved to a new apartment, got a new job, traveled by myself to some places that were on my list for a really long time, and started yoga. I felt so much better, but I still couldn’t think about my business.
What’s happening to my business?
As I said, I needed a break and I thought a few weeks would be enough. I just needed to settle into my new normal. Well, it actually took more than a year.
Getting used to a 9 to 5 job was easy, but I didn’t like my new apartment and I spent a lot of time away from it. So I moved again to a nicer place, and then I decided to start a master’s program. I always wanted to do that and didn’t have time or energy for it.
I didn’t know what to do about my business. There were days when I wanted to close everything, and days when I knew that I will eventually get back to it. I didn’t close it because there were still so many people reading my blog or watching my videos on YouTube, but I had to make some changes.
Things that changed
The first thing I did was to retire my WordPress themes. The last theme I made was very successful, but I couldn’t keep up with the latest WordPress updates and I had too many support requests. I will continue to offer support to those that use it, but I will retire the support area next spring.
The shop that was hosted on this website is also closed. I think having your own shop is better that using platforms owned by others, but it’s also a lot of work and I don’t have time for it.
Last year I started monetizing my YouTube channel. I didn’t want to do it before because I heard that you only earn pennies, and anyway, I opened it to promote my business. I was hoping to earn enough to pay my website’s very expensive hosting. I applied for it and then forgot about it for a few months. I have to say that I was shocked when I saw how much I was earning from it. It’s not enough to live from it, but it’s a great source of extra income and the best thing about it is that it’s pretty constant.
New business plans
This year, I took MATS MBA and it helped me figure out what I want to do with my business. I was afraid to let go of website design because I always earned more from it, but what I really enjoy is pattern design and I want to focus on it.
I got an iPad at the beginning of the year and I finally started creating without thinking about business. When lock-down started, I also got many art supplies and I started painting for fun. I really missed this and I’m glad I can do it again.
For now I want to focus on my pattern portfolio and YouTube. I might still upload pattern collections on Creative Market, but that’s not my priority.
I will also change my social media strategy and focus only on Instagram. I never liked Facebook or Twitter, and I won’t post there anymore. Well, maybe I will post every now and then if I feel like it.
Besides this, I also want to start offering pattern design courses. I have two already planned out, I just need to find the time to record them.
What does this mean for my blog?
I can say for sure that I won’t close it, but I don’t know how much I will post. There are many things I want to write about, especially about running a creative business. The only problem is that this is now a side biz and I have other priorities.
I stopped reading design blogs a couple of years ago. When I looked though Feedly this year, I realized that everyone still posts the same regurgitated content. We’re constantly bombarded with success stories that only talk about the good things. There are many people that sell their stories and tell you that if you do the same things you will also be successful, but it doesn’t always happen.
I think this really got to me and I talked to other creative business owners that fell into this trap. I can’t write anymore about how to open a successful business in 5 easy steps when I know how much work it actually takes.
For now, I will only post new YouTube videos, but I’d like to post studio blogs or vlogs in the near future.
If you want to keep in touch, please follow me on Instagram where you can see my new work and short life updates.
Hello! I love your Youtube video and have learned so much from you. I’m sorry that you have had such a difficult time recently, but I hope you know how much your work has meant to me and others. I can’t tell you how much your work has inspired me and also taught me so much. I have literally no design background but from your videos I was able to create my own seamless patterns which I am planning to use commercially!
I hope you do come out with your course as I would gladly support you.
It is so important to take time to rest and relax and refocus on what you want to do. I am glad that you have made changes in your life that offer you a better quality of life.
Thank you and keep well.
Thank you so much for you king words, Gemma! Means a lot to me!
I’m also self-taught and I always loved sharing what I leaned with others. It’s what made want to return to this. Hope to have the first course ready in September 🙂
Hey Cristina,
You’re one of the first bloggers that inspired me to get into illustration in the first place. I love your blog because it’s so creative. I learned a lot too. So, thank you for being so amazing.
I understand what you’re going through. It’s natural to get burned out when we do so much. You deserve this time off. Take it easy.
I wish you all the best. And when you do decide to post, we’ll all be here waiting for you.
Thank you so much, Angela! It means a lot! I always loved your illustrations. You have such a nice style 🙂
Oh Christina you have just absolutely made my day , week in fact.
Firstly I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE BACK!!!
I started my SPD journey approx 18 months ago and you were one of the first videos I followed on You Tube.
I also run another business on my own and I feel NOW exactly how you have felt. I am at the end of my energy but only at the beginning of setting up Lonnie Lou. 🙁 I have sooooo much to do I am not sleeping. I cant help thinking if I stop working it wont get done as there is no one else to do. Even when I write things down I dont stick to them. I too am a perfectionist and my own worse enemy. I suffered in the past with anxiety and my mental wellbeing. The doctors thought I had a few strokes but it turns out it was hemiplegic migraine from stress. This was 2 years ago. Since then I have started a 2nd business. I have so much passion for what I ultimately want to do (licensing for Paperchase and similar stationary brands and kitchenware brands) but I feel I need to set up passive income streams first in order for me to take time to develop collections for my portfolio pitches. My first business has been going for 7 1/2 years and is established but no longer is my passion. I have incorporated my elements & motifs slightly, changed the style of products and created a website so it is all online now ( and not through Facebook. )
I would very much like to escape if that is the right word. I am experiencing SO MUCH NOISE all the time. But I wont give up, I wont give in and I am determined to find a way. I know I can do it. Reading your blog today has lifted my spirits so much!!!! 🙂 for that I want to thank you so much. It has made me realise that I can stop doing something and I dont need to feel it as a failure. You have shown me that maybe working solo is not a great option for me and that maybe I need to have a helper – someone to share the creative ideas with and all the admin that goes with running 2 business lol.
I am so glad that you are in a happier place now. I hope you are enjoying you new found inner peace. I look forward to following your journey on You Tube as and when you post. I will definetly be watching. I learnt how to make my first pattern repeat with your You Tube video 🙂 You are so good at tutorials.
Thank you for reading this far, and I apologise if it feels like I have overshared but I just resonated so much with what you wrote.
Love Lauren x
Thank you so much for sharing this, Lauren! I know how hard it is, but we need to take a break every now and then and reevaluate what we are doing. Sometimes asking for help or taking a break is the best thing to do. It gives you so much clarity and energy to keep doing what you love. Hope everything works out for you! Your patterns are really lovely!
Wow thank you so much for your reply. I am currently taking a week off! 😊😊I will reassess after some time out. Thank you for your kind words about my patterns. Xx
Hi Cristina,
Thank you for such a candid blog post. I have a full time “regular” job and a side business. I create my own product, manage my own website, emails, social media, etc. It is very taxing and honestly I don’t feel like most people understand what it takes to have a business in the creative market. I wish I could make enough from my side business to make it my full-time job, but it is a very niche market I am in. I sometimes even wonder if it is worth it. I’m probably on the verge of burnout! Haha! I just wish there were more narratives out there where people are honest about what they are doing and if they are “making it” or not, and how it affects their personal and financial lives. Again, thanks so much for the post, it allowed me to realize that what I sometimes feel about my side business is “normal.”
– Linda
Thank you for your comment, Linda! I think we all go through this, but people are afraid to share because it might alienate potential clients. I guess it’s the fake it till you make it mentality that’s pushed by a lot of business coaches and influencers, but things are hard even when you make it. Take care of yourself!